This is my grandma.
Patsy Ruth Peterson Green.
She died last week.
I've decided a few things since then.
I've decided that I'm not really a big fan of death. Not a fan at all.
I've decided that funerals can be cathartic. But snowball fights are even better.
I've decided that seeing your parents sad is, well, pretty sad.
And, I've decided that my grandma was the greatest woman I will ever know.
A little story...
The night after her funeral was tough. Especially for Emma. She is named after my grandma and has lots and lots of memories with her. We have cried and talked a lot together. She and Sophie and I were talking about how hard it is to see the people you love sad, especially their grandpa, who, admittedly, they love more than me. They don't like seeing him cry. I explained to them how we need to allow everybody time to be sad. I told them that it's OK to cry and feel sad and it might take a while for that sadness to get better.
Sophie looked at me and asked,
"Mom, can people die from crying?"
"No." I said.
"Mom, can people die from being sad?"
"No." I said.
"Everyone is going to be fine. It just might take a little while and we have to let grandpa be sad. It' called mourning. Have you guys ever heard of that?"
Emma's face lit up. She looked at me with utter clarity and beauty and said,
"Mom, it's just like in the scriptures. "Mourn with those who mourn", just like Jesus said."
Just like Jesus said.
My grandma was probably 10 in the picture. Just like Emma.
I think she looks just like Emma. And me. And I love it.
When I can't find her voice in my head anymore, when I can't picture her if I close my eyes, all I have to do is look at Emma. And listen to her wisdom.
I love my grandma.
